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" No!" I exclaim. "We just pulled over to help. You're overreacting." Ican feel my hopes plummet like a rocket. I knew nothing cool was going tohappen for me now."Your character is unforgiveable, John. Max, on the other hand, deservesto have the threesome of his life." I look at Max and even he looks a bitweirded out. She then gets up and points at me. What the fuck is shedoing? She mumbles something under her breath."Um..." I go, "Are you like, casting a spell or something?"She continues mumbling under her breath, ignoring me completely. When shestops, I immediately feel my body get warmer. Wait, something ishappening! My feet start to feel weird, and I look down and they seem tobe changing in shape! They get smaller and my toenails get prettier, andmy legs are starting to become more shapely as well!"What the FUCK?" I yell. "What is happening?" I feel something similarhappen to my arms, where they lose the tiny amount of muscle I had andbecoming extremely thin. My hands follow suit. After reading up on the subject, I found that I would probably have to fertilize with potassium and phosphate once I noticed the yields start to drop and the leaf color changed.200 bucks of that bought me a mid-season feeder pig. That was in mid-July. I kept it fed from the garden culls and an occasional bag of cracked corn mixed with dried beet pulp. There was some clover growth outside the borders of the field that didn't get harvested. I bought a scythe and harvested that for the pig as well. By Thanksgiving I'd had a solid month and a half of feeding it straight bagged corn so it was in as good a shape as it was going to get. Besides, I was tired of spending money on feeding the damned thing. I slaughtered and butchered it for the smoke house, except for one tenderloin I held out for broiling and stewing. I discovered that a pig is a lot harder to butcher than a deer, even if they're small. I later learned that a full cycle for feeding up a pig is five to seven months. I prepared.
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